Five Questions Answered About Adult Websites
A young woman felt disrespected whenever her boyfriend looked at nude magazines, went to strip clubs, or watched internet pornography. Much of the time his behavior remained hidden, but he would admit to it if his girlfriend confronted him. He continued doing these activities despite the fact that he knew it disgusted his girlfriend and caused her to feel undesirable. She also suspected he was masturbating when he was on the net, but he would never admit to that.
Masturbation is a common practice among pornography enthusiasts. Hiding the activity may be as a result of others' objections; alternatively, one deep-seated reason is probably due to shame. Even the most liberal person has some amount of embarrassment concerning sexual activities. It's really a core belief system that's taught to us by our parents during our formative years. Parents with traditional values teach their children that A) sex is for marriage between a male and female, and B) pornography is bad, avoid it. When children are raised in a more permissive family system they may develop sexual ideas that may cause them problems later on, because most people have a regular outlook on sexual conduct. Sometimes a child's environment becomes terribly destructive should they are sexually abused. This leads to endless therapy when they become adults. (As you know, our prison system houses many sexual predators.)
Sexual activities in most forms produce a number of conscious feelings and a multitude of sub-conscious thoughts. Since most of our behavior is guided by our sub-conscious, our actions can be hard to understand. People often spend months in therapy examining their conduct before they get to the root of their behavior. When they finally reach the underlying source, the most usual reason for taking part in pornographic activities is fear. Surprised it was not sex? Many people think pornography (from the mildest to the most explicit) is about sex. Even though it may appear that way on the outside, internally it really is all about fear. This really is because fear is one of the most powerful motivating forces lurking within the human psyche. Our society tells us we have to look, act, smell, and think in a particular fashion in order to possess the one thing we crave the most: intimacy with another person. Look-at the marketing and advertising world: Sex is a large product seller, and for what reason? So somebody else will think you are worthy of their affection! People that don't have "it", what ever It's, don't measure up. As a result, we are forced to find other ways to feel good.
Most people that participate in pornographic activity are living in anxiety about intimacy. It's much simpler to have a relationship with a picture than to look someone straight within the eyes and express deep feelings. The trust factor may be overwhelming to a person who is fearful. Any behavior that is thought to be unacceptable only causes more fear and hiding. The tension can destroy a relationship. Consequently, what do you need to do? one-time offer the person some space to relax. Pay attention to the qualities you admire, and ignore what you don't like. Express gratitude for the great you see in others (you may always find it if you look hard enough). Allowing people to be who they may be will create an environment of love and acceptance, which in turn will provide a safe atmosphere where others can share their true emotions. This might feel awkward from the beginning, because we are conditioned to look for negativity. In contrast, with commitment and patience, the results are well worth the effort. The practice of allowing others to be who they can be will reduce stress and bring joy into your lives.
